It's Tearing Up My Heart
by Nikki Kou
Summary: It's a song fic written from inspiration from N'Sync's It's tearing up my heart. What more can i say other than read and review.


Title: Tearing Up My Heart  
Author: Nikki Kou  
E-mail: nikki_monrose@hotmail.com   
  
Standard Disclaimer Applies  
A.N. this is a Seiya & Usagi fan/song fic(couldn't really pick one. once you read it though you'll understand) so if don't like the couple who in my opinion should have been destined to be together. So if you don't like em together ::gets red in the face:: I DON'T CARE!!! ::sweet innocent voice:: Flames? Comments? My e-mail addresses are at the top, you know what to do   
nikkisei   
;-*  
  
  
Seiya lay awake on his bed in his room. Many would have killed to have a room like this, it was huge. He'd decorated it himself, using varying shades of smokey and midnight blue which were the colour of his eyes and dark reds the colour of his favourite rose and star. When decribing to others about the decor they usually wrinkled their noses at his choice of colours but upon seeing the way they actually blended they loved it. So here he was in one of the most coveted rooms of his palace and feeling as miserable as ever. Upon returning with their Princess they were placed at an even higher recommedation on the planet. They'd requested to stay in their male forms claiming that they'd gotten more accustomed to it while on earth; although they all knew the main reason was because it was the only way for them to believe what had happened on earth had been real. Since Galaxia had been defeated their Princess relented saying as long as they were willing to transform to their senshi forms if needed. They'd agreed and were basically on permanent vaction from figting duties except for the occassional scuffle between some planets. All they did was sit in on meetings concerning the planet and help the Princess out. Not because she needed it but because they didn't have anything to do. This was quite a problem since Seiya was restless and wanted to be constantly doing something. Anything non-stop so that he could stop thinking about her. His sweet Odango. What an angel she was but she was not his angel. Infact she was the reason why he couldn't sleep. She'd stolen his heart long before she'd actually met him and found out who he was. Getting up from the bed he walked over to his desk and sat down. He still wrote songs when he could but they were all sad and depressing. Like the one which seemed to be forming in his mind...  
  
  
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They were back and with a new hit song. Usagi turned up the volume on the radio and listened to the deejay's voice as he said that the Three Lights had released a new hit song; which he was going to play it in a few minutes. Usagi decided to wait to hear it usually the Light's songs had some hidden meaning behind it. Unfortunately or fortunately (she couldn't decide yet) her friends had delighted to tease her about the fact of her naivity towards Seiya's feelings for her. Even when he had vertually been pouring his heart out to her. 'It wasn't meant to be, Seiya & Usagi were not meant to be but Mamoru & Usagi are meant to be. We are destined to be together for the sake of Chibiusa and Crystal Tokyo ," were the words she drummed into her head every night but they didn't seem to be working. Just as she sat down the phone rang she answered, a bit annoyed that her waiting for the song had been interrupted. It was Ami telling her to turn her radio to the station she (Usagi) was presently listening to.   
"The Three Lights have a new song!" were her excited words.  
"I know I'm listening now. I didn't even know they were back, did you?" Usagi asked Ami.  
"Actually not even their agent has seen them yet. They recorded the music themselves and sent it to him saying they would get in contact with him later," said Ami excitedly.  
"How'd you find out that they recorded the music themselves and they were going to play the music on the radio?" asked Usagi puzzled, usually Ami was studying at this time.  
"Oh right, Taiki called me and told me to listen for it; and I assume that Seiya has already called you because I know for sure Yaten called Minako. She called and told me so herself. We figured since Seiya liked you he would have called you already so I called Mako and Minako said she called Rei. I decided to call you just in case. So? Did he call?" said Ami breathlessly.  
Usagi could not believe it Taiki and even more startling Yaten had called the two girls they obviously liked and told them but Seiya who had always wanted her attention hadn't even called. Before he would have picked up the phone before his brothers to call her but he hadn't even sent so much as a letter.  
"Umm...actually he didn't...call," said Usagi after clearing her throat.  
"That's strange I would have thought he call you before Yaten and Taiki called Minako and me. I guess he got over you huh?" said Ami calmly and carefully.  
"I guess so. All the better for me and...Mamo-chan...I guess," said Usagi quietly and she was surprised to feel tears running down her face. 'I should be feeling happy and elated, no more Seiya bugging me to go out with him; instead I feel empty and sad.  
"Usagi are you alright? asked Ami worriedly.  
"Of course why wouldn't I be. You don't think he's hurt do you?" asked Usagi fearfully.  
"No Taiki or Yaten would have mentioned, he probably just hasn't gotten around to calling you yet. I'm sure he'll call later okay I've gotta go now bye," as Ami said these words she knew they weren't true. The only probable reason why Seiya hadn't called Usagi was probably because he'd met someone else. She'd never thought it would happen, Seiya had seemed genuinely deeply in love with Usagi unlike Mamoru who looked more like Usagi's older brother than her boyfriend. Ami just sighed and settled down to wait for the song.  
  
Usagi looked sadly at the radio and wondered whether she should turn it off or not and then decided she wouldn't. Instead she stared into space thinking about her life in general, past, present and future. She snapped out of it when she heard the deejay finally announce the wait for the song over. A bit doubtful about what she'd just been thinking about Usagi pushed the thoughts to the back of her mind and concentrated on listening. It went like this:  
  
It's tearing up my heart when I'm with you  
But when we are apart I feel it too  
And no matter what I do I feel the pain  
With or without you  
  
Baby I don't understand just why we can't be lovers  
Things are getting out of hand   
Trying too much but baby we can't win  
  
Let it go   
If you want me girl let me know  
I am down on my knees  
I can't take it anymore  
  
It's tearing up my heart when I'm with you  
But when we are apart I feel it too  
And no matter what I do I feel the pain  
With or without you  
  
Baby don't misunderstand   
What I'm trying to tell  
In the corner of my mind   
Baby it feels like we're running out of time  
  
Let it go   
If you want me girl let me know  
I am down on my knees  
I can't take it anymore  
  
It's tearing up my heart when I'm with you  
But when we are apart I feel it too  
And no matter what I do I feel the Pain  
With or without you  
  
Tearing up my heart soul  
We're apart I feel it too  
And no matter what I do I feel the pain  
With or without you  
  
Tearing up my heart soul  
We're apart I feel it too  
And no matter what I do I feel the pain  
With or without you  
  
It's tearing up my heart when I'm with you  
But when we are apart I feel it too  
And no matter what I do I feel the Pain  
With or without you  
  
And no matter what I do I feel the pain  
  
With or without you  
  
  
Usagi was in tears when the song was finished. After hearing that voice sing that lovely yet sad song her thoughts returned with an unbearable force. 'Well there's defenately no mistaking the message in that song' she thought ruefully. She knew what she had to do...break up with Mamoru. She just couldn't deal with the emotional turmoil anymore she would literally go crazy. She decided to go to America to tell him in person.  
  
  
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3 days later...  
  
Usagi came in on the late night flight. 3 days earlier she'd flown almost around the entire globe up to the states to break up with Mamoru in person. She hadn't seen Seiya or the otherguys and he still hadn't called her. She'd flown over on the next flight she could get to get it over with. She'd taken 3 days because she thought that when she broke up with Mamoru if he still wanted her around she'd stay to comfort him that was all. She'd wanted to surprise him, one last joy before the sorrow. She cringed now at the thought of it. As it turns out what Mamo-chan had been writing about his loneliness due to her absence had all been a lie. She'd told the doorman that she was Mamoru's girlfriend and she wanted to surprise him. The doorman being old, friendly and obviously a romantic had given her access to the room. Unknown to its occupants Usagi stepped into the elevator and pushed the button for the floor. When she reached the door she saw it slightly ajar. Pushing it quietly open she stepped into Mamoru's apartment. Just then a laughing red-head exited what appeared to be the bedroom clad only in a thin robe which was tied loosely at the waist. For a minute Usagi thought that she had the wrong room and turned a bright red in embarrassment but then she heard a familiar voice laughing at the same time meeting the red-head's eyes. The woman stopped laughing and looked Usagi up and down. 'Excuse me but what are you doing here?' Before Usagi would have looked puzzled at the language used but thanks to tutoring from Minako and Seiya and; having to listen to Yaten, Taiki, Seiya and Minako talk in the language most of the time she'd learned it. But before she could answer in her embarrassment Mamoru walked out of the bedroom with only a towel wrapped around his hips. 'Hey what's wrong Car...' he stopped short, eyes widening when he saw the blonde now flushed in anger instead of embarrassment. 'Lonely Mamoru?' she asked sweetly in perfect english. His eyes grew even bigger at her perfect tones he didn't know that she could speak english. 'Usako? You speak english?' he asked in Japanese. 'Yes I speak english Mamo-chan, Sei-chan, Taiki chan, Yaten-chan and Minako-chan taught me. And kindly refer to me as Usagi-san' she said coldly, sneering at her nickname for him. 'Usako...' 'Usagi-san' she gritted back. 'Usagi-san I can explain...' 'Save it Mamoru because I don't want to hear it, the only reason I came over here for is to break up with you and move on with my life...' 'Usagi you don't understand...' 'As a matter of fact I do understand perfectly and it's good that you moved on so you won't be hurt by my decision,' she said coldly eyeing both people in front of her. 'I realise now that I love Seiya and he's always loved me and he would never do to me what you did and that's why I wanted to give you this in person.' with that she pulled out the ring he had given her and tossed it to him and was turning to go when he said. 'What about the future and Chibiusa? What will the Outers say?' 'The future... no my future will and always will be mine to choose. Not yours, not Haruka's and the others's but mine and mine alone. If I choose to build one with Seiya then so be it. I have nothing more to say to you on the subject, as far as I can see case closed. And it was she swore to herself. Now all she had to do was contact Seiya and tell him about her feelings for him. She would do that tomorrow, right after she got some sleep. She was sure that Seiya would be around to hear her out. After all Seiya loved her he would wait for her. Nothing could stop her from completing what in her opinion was her true destiny. She would sort out the other details with Haruka and the others after she'd taken care of what she had to tell Seiya.   
  
  
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Seiya's room...  
  
'I really can't take anymore, the turmoil is killing me but I can't call her. It would be to painful talk to her,' thought Seiya tiredly to himself. 'Besides,' he thought bitterly, 'she's probably still in America with Mamoru.' Two days earlier he'd decided to call Usagi to find out if she'd heard the new song. Instead he'd gotten her mother who'd said Usagi was in America visiting her boyfriend. Seiya had politely said good-bye when he'd felt like slamming the phone down in frustration and anger. He didn't know whether or not if she had heard the song. He knew that Taiki and Yaten had told Ami and Minako respectively about the song; so he knew that if she was around when they heard they would've told her about. Afterall they told each other everything. Taiki and Yaten were worried about him especially as he wasn't eating and he was throwing himself into whatever work they had to do. Public and radio appearances and with a new movie on the horizon they were really worried about him wearing himself out. 'Wear myself out? I don't think that's possible,' he thought bitterly letting out a harsh sound that was supposed to be a laugh. Getting up he showered and got dressed. 10 minutes later he slipped out of the apartment dressed in black jeans, a dark blue turtle-neck and his black leather jacket. He didn't know where he was going he just knew he had to do something or he would go crazy. He walked without checking out his surroundings just staring into space and thinking about nothing. With out knowing it he ended up in the schoolyard by the bench on which he Usagi and Chibi-Chibi had sat watching the stars like a little family. When he looked up from his thoughts, he was surprised at where his mind had unconsiously taken him. Sighing dejectedly he sat down on the bench and looked at the stars. As a shooting star shot across the sky he thought 'I wish you were here right now Odango.' Before sighing again.  
  
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Usagi walked into the schoolyard her shoulders slumped. She'd come here after leaving the Three Lights' apartment after being told that Seiya was nowhere to be found. There was a special bench here on which she, Seiya and Chibi-Chibi had sat on watching the stars one night. She remembered   
that night like it was yesterday. As she neared the bench she noticed disappointedly that someone else sat there. The strangest thing was she couldn't recognise the person from where she was but his energy was familiar. Very familiar...   
"Seiya?" she whispered.  
"Odango?" Seiya said disbelievingly.  
"Seiya it's really you!" said Usagi running into his arms as he stood up.  
"Yes it's really me. How did you find me?" asked Seiya while thanking that shooting star.  
"I wanted to come here because it reminded me of happier moments in my life...with you," said Usagi saying the last part softly and looking away.  
"Odango? What are you saying?" asked Seiya looking into her eyes which were shining with unshed tears as were his.  
"I'm saying...I love you Seiya. I have from the day I bumped into you. My body knew it and I even suspect that part of my mind did too. I was just denying it because of my past and my supposed future. Your new song made me realise just how much I was hurting you.Oh Seiya! I'm sorry I made you suffer so," said Usagi as a few tears escaped down her cheeks.  
"Odango, you really mean that? What about that trip you took to see Mamoru in America? I tried to call you a couple of days after we released the song but your Mom informed me of your departure from Japan," said Seiya still doubtful that all this could possibly be true.  
"That was after I heard the song, I was on my way to break up with Mamoru, I didn't tell my Mom though. Anyway even if I wasn't going to break up with Mamoru I wuld have found reason enough when I went to America," said Usagi ruefully.  
"What do you mean?" asked Seiya brushing away a few of her tears.  
"Mamoru was having an affair. I walked in on them," said Usagi more tears flowing at the thought that Mamoru had done that to her. 'Oh well I broke up with him I don't have to worry about that again.  
"Oh Usagi I'm so sorry. That sorry good for nothing...he'll pay dearly," Seiya swore.  
"No, you'll leave him alone and forget about him to concentrate on making me happy and making me forget about him," said Usagi placing a finger against his lips to silence him as she said this.  
"Alright," Seiya agreed.  
Then he kissed her finger,took it away from his mouth kissed her wrist then gently pulled her to his body before he caught her lips in the most passionate kiss ever.  
  
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Well that's it ppl if you want a sequel with how the outers take it and and epilouge about the future included, I need reviews, 10-12 at least. also read my other fanfic. It's called Seiya And Serenity...Truly A Destined Couple. Please check it out and review or send your comments please.  
  
nikki kou  
;-* 


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